Someone recently wrote to me: “Before COVID, I was working out everyday, now that I am not working and I have a lot of time, I am not working out as much and somehow I feel exhausted all the time.”
Sister, you are not alone.
Yesterday I ran a few errands with my youngest. When we pulled back into the driveway she said to me “mom, I am so exhausted!” We’d simply gone to get lunch (ate CAVA in the car), went to Aldi and Costco. That was it. But … my youngest is an asthmatic and this was the first time since February that she has been into a grocery store. She was a stress ball the entire time. She was anxious that I touched door handles, anxious that I used a shopping cart, stressed about another customer getting close to her in the store. It was crazy town behavior. But I’ve also been to the store a lot now over these past few months, and they way she was feeling was a LOT like I felt the first time I ventured out to a store during the start of our lockdown. I distinctly remember picking up a bell pepper and then thinking “oh crap, it has a bad spot but I need to buy THIS pepper because I touched it!” The store felt alive with fear and danger for me. I felt kinda crazy. It was a visceral feeling. Luckily it has subsided a bit (the what feels like irrational fear), but I still wear my mask and try to be mentally present vs going on auto-pilot while shopping.
So if you are feeling pandemic fatigue, welcome to the club. It’s no wonder that feeling of exhaustion creeps in. Our nervous systems are ramped up - and running from the bear. Consider this: before quarantine, many of us had systems, routines in place that were structured. There is a lot of safety in structure and routine. However, Covid has disrupted our system; our flow has been abruptly halted, and now re-routed. Now - we have to find a new flow, a new system - amongst so many unknowns, AND many factors outside of our control - all intertwined with sprinkles of fear.
2020 has been a hell of a year and we’re just starting August. We’ve been confronted with so much opportunity to lean into a lot of weird, hard emotions … like fear and loss. Fear of Covid, fear of getting sick, fear of loved ones getting sick, fear of the economy, fear of our jobs, fear of what is school going to look like for our kids. Loss of so, so much. The end of the school year, spring sports, summer sports, fall sports. In my own case - loss of my son’s senior year, the remainder of his steel band concerts, graduation from High School, my daughters swim team, not to mention adjusting to all of us sharing the same space day in and day out (I’m happy to report that has gotten much easier months into this…). So much potential for fear and loss. We’ve lost our structure, our routines, our rhythm. Life as we knew it - has flipped 180 degrees, and the flipping may not be done yet. We just don’t know, do we? It feels as if we are constantly having to readapt, readjust, and change.
Change is hard.
The unknowns and new stress can really wear on us, and make us feel worn out. Without the routine we had in place - we kinda default towards just nothing. No routine. We also get pretty mentally drained from all the new decisions we have to make (Is it safe to go to the grocery store? Do I need a mask? Gloves? Is my kiddo doing their homework? Do they need help? Will they play their sport? Should they play their sport? Wait - what day is it? Where can I do some work without interruption? Should I check the news? ACK!).
And all this new decision making (often without our even realizing it) makes us feel exhausted, mentally drained. Before the pandemic, many of us had awesome habits and routines in place. Now the proverbial domino has fallen and the whole game has gotten wonky.
Consider what your priorities are, given this new situation. Your priorities may very well have changed. In the midst of this pandemic I’ve found myself caregiving for my 86 year old mom who was sent home from the hospital at the start of the COVID outbreak. We’ve been figuring out how to navigate her lung cancer and hospice amid the pandemic because returning to the hospital as things progress is just too risky for her. This has affected my whole routine as I'm adjusting to caregiving + pandemic living. So if you’ve felt upended by all the change - I get it.
Consider what systems you might try developing in this current new normal. What might help you fulfill your priorities right now? But most of all - I suggest developing an experimental mindset towards getting a new system/routine in place. Know that where we are now won't last forever and we will need to adapt again. We will need to evolve, re-evaluate - and try something different. And this is ok. MANY of us are experiencing pandemic fatigue my friend - if you are, you are NOT alone.